Archives for April 2019

Recently we have experienced something I call “big weather.” Living in southern California my entire childhood, big weather was when the Santa Ana winds blew through, or when the rain fell whenever the Orange Show was going (it’s an old Native American myth in our area). It wasn’t until Nathan and I moved to Virginia that I witnessed true “big weather.” The type when the billowing clouds race in, and the sky is a cacophony of thunder as lightning shatters the night. It is both something to fear and beautiful all at the same time.  

Big Weather

In this last month, for the first time in a long time, we experienced big weather in Redlands.  In the middle of the night the sky was bright with cracks of lightning, the thunder so loud the house shook.  There was one flash and boom so bright it felt and looked like it was just few houses away.  In the morning we found that a palm tree was struck a few blocks over.  It had gone up in flames. The tree is on our normal route to school in the morning so the next day the kids and I saw the charred pole, the top of the palm tree was completely gone leaving only a burnt trunk. 

Each morning the kids looked for the burnt tree, wondering why the owners chose to leave it and not cut it down.  It was dead, struck by lightning and burned to a crisp! Then, today on our way to school my son began yelling for me to stop the car. Out of the top of this dead tree, new, bright green fronds were growing.  What was deemed useless by me, was showing new life. 

New Life

What I hadn’t seen for the past three weeks was what was going on inside the tree. The stump was soaking up the rain the Lord has given to us, saving its energy to create new life. It got me thinking…if God cares this much about a tree, how much more does he care for us.  He will grow us too, put us back together after big weather leaves us feeling and perhaps looking destroyed.

How many of us have experienced or are experiencing “big weather” in our lives? Surely no one is immune, and it doesn’t look the same for everyone.  When I experience thunder and rain in my life, I typically can handle it well. Thunder being lots of busyness, lots of noise. The rain to me is the tough stuff that we know will produces a tangible strength. The lightning strikes are what I like to think of as catastrophic devastation. Devastation that leaves us feeling burned up, like a bomb went off in our lives, and we are falling apart.  But if there is comfort to be found, it’s found in Christ.  He will grow us again through this experience. It will not be easy, and most growing and stretching hurts. 

Growing Hurts

The bible tells us to rejoice in our trials. Every time I hear someone recite James 1:2-4 I get irritated, because while going through a difficult time, no one wants to hear, “Be joyful”! I want someone to commiserate with me! The verses say:

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So, let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete needing nothing.”

I know often what I want, isn’t what is good for me.  I want life to be easy and peaceful. But if I had my way, I’d never grow into what the Lord wants me to be. In order to grow, there needs to be a reason for change. Unfortunately, often times that reason comes in the form of “big weather.”

At my church I listened to a pastor preach on this topic.  I left feeling extremely comforted.  He said that in the midst of circumstances, regardless of what they are, that God is bringing about his purposes in the situation.  That in these circumstances, God is preparing you for what He has prepared for you.  We can rest assured that God is moving in our circumstance in life, and he is sovereignly in control! Romans 8:28 says,

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of the those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”

When it looked like the world was falling apart, it was actually falling into place for God to work in great ways.  Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers and rose to save Egypt and the nation of Israel from famine.  Jesus gave himself to be killed on a cross to pay to price for us to be redeemed with God.  I mean WOW…what a perspective change for me. When I look at this palm tree, charred and ugly, I see the redemptive spirit of God. I feel comfort that in the midst of all the things going on in life, God is with me, preparing me for what He has for me in the future!

Do you ever think about how others talk about you when you are not around?  What do they say? I hope words they use are similar to: kind, generous, positive, never talks bad about others. But when I look at my life, I think about my interactions and question if my actions and words would lead people to describe me this positively.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not vicious with my words, but I am a people-pleaser.  So, my attempts, using MANY WORDS, to make one person feel better might inadvertently include putting someone else down. Never my original intent, and so frustrating in retrospect!  The phrase diarrhea of the mouth may be appropriate.

People have complimented my husband to me that he never says a negative word about anyone. To me this is one of the highest praises a person can receive. It implies self-control, a tamed tongue, and general kindness.  I so badly want that to be a description of me! Truthfully, I don’t deserve it. 

I’ve had this same stumbling block in my walk with the Lord for my lifetime. In order to stay on top of this weakness I often ask myself the following question:

Am I reflecting His love when I interact with people?

As a person with MANY words, I find that I am susceptible to talking way too much.  Especially to fill awkward pauses or silences in conversation, or to make someone else feel better. Recently I was in a conversation with friends, and another woman came up in our discussion.  In an attempt to comfort my friend who felt attacked by this other woman, I shared that this other woman’s issue may have nothing to do directly with her, but rather that she may just be a casualty of proximity. It would have been great to end there, but I expanded, and EXPANDED, and EXPANDEDon the reasons why this might be the case. By the end of the conversation I felt so guilty. What had started out as a way to encourage a friend had become a negative narrative about the other woman.  I was sickened by my words.

You see its never my intention to speak negatively or put someone in a negative light, but it happens more than I care to admit. I cry out to the Lord, “When will I be the person I want to be?” I’m tired of falling short in this area. I don’t like feeling like I’ve just put someone down in order to make someone else feel better. This doesn’t make sense! When will I get it? 

The bible is clear about the power of words.  In Proverbs 18:21, the writer tells us:

“The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.”

My words can breathe life into a weary friend, while bringing death to another, in the same conversation.  This is no way to behave.  Here I am a professing disciple of Christ, yet I don’t have control over my tongue.  Later in the bible, the book of James tells us: 

“Sometimes it (the tongue) praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! (3:9-11)

So what do I do? I need to keep my words few and when I find myself talking too much, I need to tell myself to walk away.  I also need you my friends to be like, “Kayla…too many words sister!” Praying daily for my heart to change will change the words that come from it, Luke 6:45 

“What you say flows from what is in your heart.”

I don’t want poisoned words in my heart. I want to be an encouragement to all, and not at the expense of others. The Lord has given me the women in my life for a reason.  Surely that reason is not to talk about them in a negative way regardless of my intent. Furthermore, when people interact with me, my hope is that they see what is different about me. Not a similarity with those who gossip about one another.  The difference I hope they see is a kindness and love that only comes from Christ.  I have a long way to go.  

Currently, I’m reading Letters to the Church, by Francis Chan. One of my friends was reading it and feeling challenged on many levels.  It sounded interesting so I decided to buy it and join in on the reading.  Within the first couple of chapters I was brought to tears.  I saw myself so clearly as someone who can take a sledge hammer to the body of Christ each time I use my words in a negative way. Chan tells the reader that each time we talk negatively about someone, criticize another, or say we just can’t get along with another person we need to remember what Jesus has done for them.  He loved them enough to lay down His own life for their salvation.  Who are we to cheaply criticize someone that Christ loves so deeply?   

Clearly, the Lord continues to give me opportunities to practice using fewer words, and the words I do use should be laced with kindness. So, I challenge you too, to remember who we represent when we converse with others. The words we use have the ability to set us apart from others. Let us see each conversation as an opportunity to show love to others!